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This man, Conor Fowler of Baltimore, MD, is a rapist. He raped me and has raped other women I know. He is violent, manipulative, dangerous, and should not be trusted. He is not under any current legal investigation and is still a threat to women in the Baltimore area.

Stay away from him and advise everyone you know to do the same. I suspect he has attacked many women and will continue to do so any time he feels he can get away with it.

It has taken me nearly six years to build up the courage to share this in such a public way and I am doing so in hopes of reaching out to other women he victimized who have not yet had the support or avenues needed to come forward.  I want to do everything in my power to stop him from hurting anyone else, but I can’t do this alone.  Please share via any/all social media platforms and feel free to add commentary.

If you know someone Conor assaulted who wants to talk me, give her my contact information or request it through my ask box if you don’t know me in person.  You are not alone

First things first, I want to commend the woman speaking out. We read, everyday, about more and more sexual assault survivors outing their abusers and I can only imagine how difficult it is to do so. You have courage that I’ve never known and I hope that you continue to flourish and shine. Clearly, you have a lot of support, keep those people close because misogyny, rape apologists, and victim blamers often lurk around. 

Being someone who is very distantly acquainted with this man, I hate to admit that I hesitated when I saw this post because my instinct was ‘how do I know this is true?’ and ‘this guy’s reputation is on the line’ but then I thought about it (asked some questions, got some answers) and realized I was perpetuating everything that I’ve been fighting against and all the things I’m hoping women and men will ‘unteach’ themselves. 

I’m confident that many people I know who know him much better than I do and perhaps even consider him a friend will have the same knee-jerk reaction. 

Stop.

And, now, consider: People don’t just makes these accusations up. And people don’t just randomly accuse someone of a heinous crime six years later (or at any time, really). Less than 1% of rape accusations are false and as much as you may know or like this man, it’s highly unlikely that this falls into that category. 

It’s easy to share an article about the Steubenville, or TKE, or any other men who’ve been accused of horrific crimes against women when they’re distant and far-removed from you.

It’s easy to advocate for change in those cases. It’s a little more uncomfortable when that person is someone you know, but what you don’t want to do right now is perpetuate exactly what you stood against in all those past articles you’ve shared about rape (the current one’s probably being the Columbia University student speaking up). 

So right now may perhaps be a defining moment for many of the people who I know. You’re probably going to learn a lot about yourself in how you react and then choose to proceed here. 

Don’t be like all of those people we’ve hated on for supporting rapists and rallying behind them. 

Just don’t. 

reblogging for comment.

Once I called him my best friend. This is very fucking serious.

If your initial reaction to this, or any outing of a rapist, is to immediately question the validity of the accusation then please take a minute to think about why you’re doing that. If your answer includes ‘innocent until proven guilty’, then think about why it never crossed your mind to lend the victim that same assumption. Because as sensational as those one in a million reports are of women who falsely accuse a man and ruin his life, there are millions of women who have been assaulted that never come forward. I will go as far as to say that there is definitely a woman, if not many, in your life who has been sexually assaulted. Most likely she was convinced either by her own internalized, self-deprecating assumptions of why she was raped, or by the people in her life influenced by rape culture, not to file a report or bring any consequences at all against her rapist.

Think about this: He didn’t hesitate to ruin her life, so if outing him as a rapist would ruin his then why should she, or any victim, keep quiet?

Please stop pretending that women deserve this. They fucking don’t.

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